Thoughts on life

Been a while since I’ve blogged.  Things have been kind of crazy since the day camp that I ran ended.  Upon going back to school, I knew that something in me had changed, I don’t feel very happy anymore.  It’s kinda funny but I miss being in charge of 40 children and 10 volunteers, all the kids coming to me about the simplest little problems, all the yelling, crying, laughing, singing, etc.  I miss it all…  It’s not the fact that I was in charge of everything and everything went the way that I said it would that I miss that experience so much, it was all the bonding that took place with the children and the volunteers, it was the fact that I accomplished something that I never thought I could before.  Ever since the summer, I’ve been thinking about ways that I can get back to a place like that.  It’s hard because even though it seems like school is the only answer to get me back to something that will give me back to this feeling faster, it also feels like school is the thing that is burning me out and making me feel unhappy.  In this time it’s also been hard trusting in God’s timing for different things.  However, I cannot deny that I’ve crossed paths with people who are meant to be in my life to help me through this time.  I’ve made friends who accept me as part of their group and look out for me just because a friend introduced me to them.  Also there are other people who would be there for me anytime to the best of their abilities.  Even though I have a hard time feeling happy right now, I definitely feel cared for and I know that God is looking out for me.

One example that is extremely fresh in my mind because it just happened two days ago.  Two days ago I got into my first major car accident as a driver.  I’m not going to go into details about how it happened, but it was out of my control.  As soon as it happened, there just happened to be an ambulance there and the paramedics came and took over the situation and made sure everything was OK with me and the other driver.  They blocked off oncoming traffic so that we could pull our cars off the busy main road onto a side road before they left.  After exchanging contact and insurance information, the other person drove off, but I couldn’t because of the condition of my car.  My phone was on the fritz and I saw a light on in a house nearby, so I rang their doorbell to ask to borrow a phone.  They had a camera and a microphone and after about two minutes of conversation explaining who I was and what I needed help with, the family opened their door and lent me their phone.  At first when I called my dad, he told me to catch a bus home, so I called a friend who I just met this term if he could pick me up and he readily agreed without hesitation.  As it turned out my dad wanted to swing by to look at my car anyways so my friend didn’t have to come, but to know that he was that willing to help me made me feel cared for.  Everything that happened that night couldn’t have been a coincidence!!  What are the chances that two paramedics in an ambulance would be right behind me when I would need them the most.  There was only one house with their lights on that I could see and the family readily opened their door to a complete stranger to let me use their phone, and my friend being available and willing o pick me up (even though in the end it was not necessary).  Oh and the reason why my dad was able to drive out to where I was was because it just so happened that my mom was not using their car and she is usually out with the car on Tuesday nights.  Just try to tell me that all of this was a huge coincidence!!

Advertisements

Turning around and finding the right place in life

So here we go, the first part of four blogs where I will talk about things that I personally learned from the youth retreat that I attended, as well as events surrounding it.

Today I want to talk about being lost.  Are you, or have you ever been, spiritually lost?  Like that feeling where “God” is just a word that exists only in your vocabulary and not your life.  Like that feeling where it is just so hard to believe in him because of all the strife.  Like that feeling where you are your own person, because there is no heavenly father to call you son (or daughter).  If so, I pray that this post will speak to you personally.

So here we go…

Get-Ready-For-A-Turn-Around

We headed out on Friday afternoon for what was supposed to be an hour and half bus ride.  Suffering slightly from sleep depravity I fell asleep for the first hour of the bus ride.  When I woke up we were still on the Highway and about 20 minutes later we pulled off onto an exit and reached a fork in the road.  The bus driver thought that we had to turn instead of driving straight.  We thought that we were getting really close to the Lodge because we were driving by lots of wooden residences and we were ecstatic!!  5 minutes later we no longer saw any residences and the thoughts running through my mind were, ” I think we are on the right track.  I mean it’s a lodge, so it would be further away from all the other residences… right?  Wait, there is no longer any lights around on this road…  Did I just see a Yeti?…”  OK maybe not that last part, but you get the point… WE. WERE. LOST.  It actually took a wooden gate blocking the road for the bus driver to realize this fact.  After much looking at the GPS on someone’s smartphone (don’t you just love technology?!?!?) we figured out where we went wrong.

Turning back was not easy, we were in a big bus and we were on a narrow road, but eventually we were turned completely around and on our way again.  At the fork in the road we went in the right direction.  Once we arrived I was taken over by a wave of familiarity and memories flooded back.  You see this particular lodge that we went to, I haven’t been to since 6 years ago and at that time I was one of the youth.  Now that we return to this place, a few of the people from the other youthgroups and I return as leaders of our perspective youthgroups.  It was also six years ago at this very location that I had an intimate encounter with God and I broke down during one of the worship sessions.  Upon arriving, I knew this was definitely the right place to be at.

So for those of you struggling and feeling lost, I want to encourage you with this thought.  Imagine that bus that my youthgroup was on was you.  You travel on the road of life in search of the place that God is at.  You arrive at a fork in the road and you choose to go in the direction that doesn’t lead to God (whether this be by accident or intentional you are still on the wrong road).  God still gives you signs that you need to turn around.  You may see other people building residences along this road, but they are sparse.  Soon enough you come to a point where there are no people around, just wilderness.  And finally, you hit that wooden fence.  You see this fence is not a dead end, you could keep going on past it, but it would keep leading you further and further away form God; therefore this fence is a point of decision, keep going or turn around.  What will you choose?

Turning around isn’t easy… You are a big bus on a narrow road and it may take a while before you are fully turned 180 degrees around.  Then it’s the slow process of getting back to where there is life again (the occupied residences) and then fully back onto the path that leads to God.  When you get to where God is, you will know it is the right place, because at sometime in your life you have been to a similar place and have gotten this feeling of God’s presence.  Question is, are you wiling to turn around?

repent_take_narrow_way