Infatuation

I haven’t written a blog in a while, so I clicked the “inspire me” button and this was what came up.

“Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?”

One word, five syllables, I’m not to sure why it happens or what it truly means, this word, “infatuation”

According to Google: “an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something.” that is the definition

Guys, do you ever get that feeling for a girl?  Kinda like the “flutterbys” (I mean “butterflies”) in your belly

Please excuse me when I’m dyslexic, fact is that right now my insides feel like jelly

I have absolutely no control over how I feel

It feels like a dream, but I know that for sure it’s real

 

Based on that poem, I’m sure most of you have figured out that my strongest memory of nervousness was about a girl that I really liked.  I won’t go into detail about how we met, but one important fact was that at that time I had only known her for eight months.  At first I didn’t think of her in any way except as a friend, but overtime, my view of her changed because I was going through a tough time and she was always there ready to comfort and encourage me.  We started talking a lot and it turned out that we are very similar to each other.  The way we both don’t like to feel like a burden to other people by telling about our problems, the way we both are studying in the same faculty, the way we both love to work with children and youth.  I didn’t even realize that I was getting the feeling of infatuation for her until she went on vacation for a couple of weeks and I realized that I really missed her.

When the next semester started, we studied together in some of our free time and I was so content just sitting in the same room as her and working on my work and asking her every so often if she needed help with her studying.  One day I decided that I was going to tell her after one of our study sessions.  It was the most nerve racking experience ever.  I felt like my heart was going to jump into my throat, and all I could hear was the pounding of my heartbeat.  I chickened out and didn’t tell her at that moment, I even walked her to class and I just couldn’t say it.  That afternoon I went to the basketball court to vent my frustration and to meet up with a very good friend.  I told him that I just couldn’t understand how I could be so confident in myself while I have a ball in my hand and in the middle of a match, yet I can’t say one little thing to a girl.

Anyways, I told her eventually and the rest is history.  We are still good friends, but that’s not what’s important.  The important thing is that I had to go through that moment where I was not confident in myself.  Was the nervous feeling justified?  Yes… How did I respond to the situation?  Well I followed what the scriptures say about love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

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